This is hilarious, I really do not need to do anything but post the link. So click here and get ready to find humor in the little things.
An excerpt:
If you're claiming a skill, actually have it.
For instance, when your skillset includes:
"filing/editing"but is followed by "Photo Shop" improperly spaced, that means you're not very good at the first one, and you probably don't use the second often enough to know how to spell it. Therefore, you're probably an exaggerator, meaning I can't trust anything else on your resume. Bye-bye.
"Telephone Skills". What does that mean, that you can operate one? Good job. So can a three year old. If you mean one of those multi-line, complicated telephone *systems*, then yes, that is something to put on your resume -- if you were applying to be a receptionist in a busy office. You're not.
"Office Procedures". What the hell does that mean? How is that a skill?
When your resume looks like two boring run-on paragraphs and a list, all of which is centered on the page in the most rudimentary fashion, don't list "graphic design" as one of your skills. Please spare me.
"Treat people with respect" Shouldn't that be a given? Also, why is that your third most-important skillset? Did you have to work very hard at it?
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